Last week on the subway, my sister and I were standing on the train, ready to go home and do some P90x or watch some Game of Thrones.  As a flow of other commuters pushed their way onto the train, we found ourselves mashed against a doughy form dressed in magenta, with long hair the color of a tamarin monkey’s fur with the texture so dry from the curling iron it looked like steel wool.  After some more jostling, this blindingly bright figure turned around, making us both cringe inwardly and give each other looks of horror.

It wasn’t that this woman was ugly.  It was just that she had made herself so unreal it was like looking at a creepy doll; what she had done to herself in a quest for beauty had pushed her completely into the uncanny valley.  First of all, that hair color was most definitely not her natural one, as she was Chinese.  Secondly, she was wearing really unnatural eye makeup; definitely a fringe of fake lashes going on.  But worst of all, she had those frightening contacts that make your irises bigger to try to make your eyes appear larger…think Lady Gaga in Bad Romance.  And, they weren’t even her natural eye color, they were gray.  Like big colored circles peering around at us all; she looked like someone had taken Dobby the house elf’s eyeballs and put them in her head.

The unfortunate case we saw on the subway was only one of many.  People often say that Americans like “fake” looks, but I have seldom seen looks as fake as these.  Since we’ve been here, we have seen so many girls on the street with hair dyed outrageously unnatural colors (blonde, reddish-gold, straight up orange), wearing make up that looks like the heavily painted features of a porcelain doll, and wearing those creepy as fuck contacts.  It also does not help that they like to wear bright colors, with an overabundance of girly ruffles and polka dots and cartoon animals all at the same time.  I am all for having a personal sense of style, but I can’t get on board with whatever this is.  These girls would be so much cuter if they didn’t make themselves look like Asian Pedo-Bride of Chucky.

That is, of course, just my humble opinion.  I guess it would help me out a little if I didn’t feel that they were all trying to look as far from Asian as possible.  I get that maybe this trend comes from a lot of Japan’s Lolita/anime culture and quirky sort of fashion.  But when thinking about the root of the trend, I have to ask what it is trying to achieve.   The hair color is not at all Asian; even the curling that a lot of the girls do is not a Chinese hair texture.  The eye color change and attempt to change the perceived shape of the eye seems also like a form of trying to look whiter; white people have light eye colors and typically longer eyelashes and generally bigger eyes.  Perhaps my reaction would be less negative if I didn’t feel these people were trying to escape what they were born with instead of enhancing what they were born with.

Fine, fine, now you can all call me a judgmental whitewashed hypocrite and tell me beauty is in the eye of the beholder.  I accept I am looking at everything through a very American lens.  But I will stick to my claim that if you start looking non-human, you should probably re-think your beauty routine.

she hasn't realized she's a replicant yet.

if you find this appealing, I question your taste